agentdalecooper:

the bag my necklaces came in was tiny and my dad just looks at me and says “this is what they sell cocaine in on the streets” and his eyes lit up and he put some baking powder into the bag and put it on the counter and i was like what are you doing… and he was like “i’m going to tell your mom that we found this in your brother’s pocket” jesus christ

roseisreturning:

mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths

magicconchshell:

imagine if you went to go see a horror movie but it was just a slide show of your middle school selfies for an hour